Bill Clinton's Amazing Adventures Through Space
by Jay M. Allbritton

Free Excerpt (Part II)

   Bill walked down the only hallway out of the cockpit. With no idea where he was going, Bill felt liberated. For the first time in nearly a year he could truly be alone. He began wondering what the civilization would be like on Vvola One. Would it be anything like Earth? He knew he should be nervous, but once life attained a certain level of strangeness, dread became meaningless.
    After about twenty yards, the hallway opened up into a large room, that Bill could only barely equate to a lobby. Several panels on the walls looked interesting, but Bill had no idea what they would do if he tried to use them. Hall number three led away from the room, which Bill just realized was shaped like a pyramid.
    I wonder where the bathroom is in this place, Bill thought. He randomly chose the hallway to his left and started off down it, again pondering what life would be like on these planets. Did these guys even have bathrooms? Would there be sports? What did they know about sex? What sort of politics did these people practice? He began pondering their poetry, and animals and plant-life. Then he stopped thinking about it, because the variables were endless.
    After about ten yards, Bill came to a door with no knob. Words were written on the wall next to the door, but they were in a strange language. Below the shapes was a small triangular button.
    Bill didn’t know whether or not to push it, but since he anticipated that he would face many of these situations in the coming days, he pushed the button quickly and decided not to worry too much about it. If something bad happened he could always improvise.
    Nothing bad happened; in fact, nothing happened at all. He stood there and stared at the door. Bill pressed the button again.
   “The door will open momentarily,” a computerized voice spoke from above him, “You don’t need to keep poking the button.” After a moment, the door opened. It looked like an elevator, so Bill stepped inside. The door slid shut behind him. He heard a bell go off and then noticed that the floor was disintegrating under his feet. He subsequently fell about forty feet into a powerful upward blast of air that provided him with a light landing.
    The “elevator” door opened and Bill stepped out into a huge room that looked very similar to a warehouse. Bill’s eyes widened. Before him were eighteen bales of marijuana. After some searching, Bill found several boxes of lighters and paraphernalia. There, alone in the cargo hold of an intergalactic freighter, far from the peering eyes of the American media and his wife, Bill Clinton inhaled for the first time in a very long time.

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