Bill Clinton's Amazing Adventures Through Space
by Jay M. Allbritton

Free Excerpt (Part IV)

EARTHDATE: November 26, 1993
PLACE: Solannah Vega
TIME: 0900

    Randolph Heath sang and danced as the spirit moved him. He was at the Literally First Intergalactic Methodist Church. They had set up shop on the planet Solannah Vega near the core of the Galaxy. The problem with being so close to the core was that a nearby black hole would swallow the entire system in a matter of weeks. On the upside, impending doom really drove property value down. The total evacuation order did not hurt either. The church had been an abandoned warehouse. Melville saw it as an act of God.
    And though they would have to evacuate any day now or face death, Melville’s congregation had somehow grown to an amazing total of five people. Four of them sat in the church now, listening to father Melville preach his message.
   “And Moses came down form the mountain...” he was saying.
    Randolph’s mind wandered. This wasn’t working. Being a born again Christian seemed silly for a person who had been born before Christ. If I had any idea what was going on when Jesus walked the Earth I would have checked out that scene in person, he thought. He could have asked Jesus some questions. Instead he had been among the Atlanteans at the time. Little did he know when he took the job of intergalactic liaison that it would be a permanent position. Whiners like Donald, Melville and Frances resented him because they had spent a decade underground. He spent lifetimes there.
     And now his life would end on this stupid planet. It was the only fitting way to go out--thrust into a black hole. That was poetic. Even if it wasn’t poetic, at least there would be no Vvolans around to bring him back to life. In a few months when he did not return to Earth, General Bosche would order him replicated. Randolph’s clone would have all of his experiences until this mission, which would mean his new incarnation would not be haunted by his recent near-death experiences.
     He really did want Melville’s idea of spreading Christ to the masses to work out. It still might. These people genuinely seemed uplifted by the message, but Randoph was through with the congregation. He had prayed, danced and sang as hard as he could. He had hoped with all his heart that he would feel the presence of the Divine. Sadly, he felt nothing but a growing emptiness.
     The church grew quiet and the members began walking out. Randolph stood and stretched. He walked to the altar where Melville stood looking over a passage from the Bible. “Yes, my son?” Melville asked, not looking up.
     Randolph came close to grabbing the former janitor by the throat. My son?
   “I’m leaving,” he said then added sarcastically, “Dad.”
   “I have to update this,” Melville said.
   “What?”
   “I have to bring this material into a Galactic context.”
   “The Bible?”
   “Yes. I believe I am having a prophecy, my son.”
   “Father,” Randolph began quietly, “If you call me your son again I’ll kill you.”
     Melville nodded. “Did you bring your whatcha call it?” he asked. Randolph shrugged. “You know,” he said snappin his finger, “It’s like a computer but small and...”
   “My universal communicator?”
   “That’s right. Will you take dictation? It’s a new New Testament coming, brother.”
   “But I was going to throw myself into the black hole.”
    Melville slapped him on the back a couple of times. “My son, the Archangel Gabriel speaks to me. I need you. You can throw yourself into the black hole when we’re done.”
     Randolph stared at the man and suddenly felt something. He didn’t know if it was the Divine, but it was something. “How long will it take?”
   “I don’t know.”
    Randolph sighed. “Oh, okay, I’ll do it.”
   “Excellent, my son,” Melville said and slapped him on the back again.

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